Back so soon?

I'm back in Montana...and unemployed for the second time in 2009. Wow, I must really suck. Perhaps I have a future in a job where I wear a name tag. Quite a few people have asked me what happened. I'm not going to try to explain it on Facebook...and I'm not even going to attempt to explain it here either. Because:

1) I'm not 100% sure myself. Really.

2) Trying to explain it would take me an hour to write and you 10 minutes to read. And it would just make me look (and feel) like a victim. I refuse to go there.

3) There's great people that work at that station and I would never do anything that could possibly hurt anyone there or reflect badly - even indirectly.

I will say this much. I committed to them (at great sacrifice to myself, not to mention great hardship to my wife). And I disagree vigorously with the (very weak and Catch-22ish) reason given for my termination. The dismissal was awkward and botched. Hell, I'm pretty sure I have given more thought to what socks I should wear on occasion than the thought that went in to my exit.

And I'm proud of how I embraced Milwaukee...I went to several concerts (indoors and outside) and several Brewers games...to the Domes and the Milwaukee Art Museum...saw movies at 4 different "neighborhood" theatres....went to the Rep Theatre...participated in Aids Walk....even volunteered regularly at Animal Control. I enjoyed eating at Italian, Vietnamese and German restaurants. I walked (and rode my bike) miles and miles through various neighborhoods. I joined a great health club. Oh there were times when I sat in my puny apartment (furnished as if I was back in college) and wondered what the hell I was doing there...but I clearly embraced my new city and never would have simply bailed out on the company that hired me just a few months ago and moved me across the country.

So yeah, I feel a bit silly about the very things I said here a few months ago. Comparing non-profits to corporations and all that. Well, I'm not going to get too down on myself for being excited about a new job in an era of 10% unemployment. Just another lesson learned by a guy who keeps thinking that he's too old to learn new things and keeps getting proved wrong.

Finally...it feels great to be back in Montana...as I have also said on these pages before - my wife and I have made sacrifices to get here and to (try and) stay here - so I'm going to enjoy Montana. Again.

Q3 Report

I'm just a bit late with this, but I was waiting on some lab results. I recently had my first PSA test since my Proton radiation. I'm 3 months out of my treatment and my PSA has fallen from 3.01 to 1.0. I also had my cholesterol checked and it has fallen from 217 to 185 over the past 6 months.

Each of those numbers were just about what I would have predicted. Maybe they are what I would have optimistically predicted as I'm pretty pleased with the progress. The PSA should continue to fall to (hopefully) below 0.5 over the next 6 months.

I'm probably more proud about the cholesterol drop. The PSA was the result of the radiation, but I'm responsible for the cholesterol number. I think I can take another 15-20 points off of it in the coming 6 months. I've managed to hold the weight down after nearly 3 months in the land of beer and brats. This week I joined a very nice health club about a mile from where I live...I think that will be key to not regressing through a Wisconsin winter.

I really had to stop and appreciate my health results today. It's pretty easy to get caught up in the day-to-day stuff, but it doesn't mean anything without your health.

The Neighborhood

(This is not my home)....but it is within a few blocks of where I'm living. I'm finally getting very familiar with my neighborhood in Wauwatosa, WI. With the exception of roughly a year back in my mid-20's when I lived on Grandin Rd. in Roanoke, I've never lived in a city setting. It has either been suburbs or rural. What I'm about to write may will likely seem so simple and uninteresting to many...but I've never lived in a setting like this before and I find it all very interesting. My apartment is nothing special...maybe 600 square feet. It fills the need for now while our house in Montana is on the market (and not drawing any interest).

Wauwatosa is immediately west of the city of Milwaukee. It has three business districts...the 'Tosa Village, North Avenue and the Mayfair Mall area. I can walk to the first two areas in minutes. I can even walk to work...it's just in the Milwaukee city limits a mile away. Big deal? Well, I've never lived anywhere where I could walk to work, grocery stores, restaurants, movie theatres, etc... So, that's all great, but I'm more impressed by the diversity and the character of the neighborhoods within a few blocks of my rental. Specificially how they change from block to block.

Milwaukee is one of the most notoriously segregated cities in the US. The radio station is located in one of a handful of areas where you may actually see blacks and whites living side-by-side. Go a few blocks to the east, and it's all black....a few blocks to the west, and it's pretty much all white. And as you walk block to block, you notice something else - the significant changes from one block to another. One block may be mostly duplexes and the next single family homes. One may be full of 1,000 square foot cottages and the next could have larger homes with the next having mansions. One block is brick homes...the next siding....One block has upstairs porches, the next does not. In addition, no single home on any block is like another. The 1900 block of N. 64th street feels different than the 1900 block of N. 65th street. The 2000 block of N. 72nd feels different than the 1900 block does. In most of east Wauwatosa, huge trees canopy the street. I've been caught in the rain a couple times and barely gotten wet as I stayed under the cover of 100 year-old trees.


You can find cottages and fixer-uppers for under $200,000. Most of the homes in east 'Tosa would sell for between $225,000 - $350,000...but get into the Washington Highlands or Milwaukee's adjacent Washington Heights neighborhood and many of the homes are on the National Historical Registry and sell for up to $ 1 million. Property taxes are very high (by my standards) even the cheapest homes have taxes in excess of $4,000 annually...the homes in the Heights that may sell for $500,000-750,000 have annual taxes between $12,000 and $15,000. You don't want to get homeowners here started in a property tax conversation!

So, I'm here for now...I love the character of the neighborhoods...I love walking to dinner and a movie in 15 minutes...or the grocery store in 5. I didn't see myself in my mid forties living like this, but it's up to me to make the best of it until something more permanent can be worked out.

A pretty good day

This blog has been a bit neglected. I've been dragging. I'm in a period of a couple weeks where I feel so uncreative. Not sure if I've had a good idea all August. What's behind it? I think I was due. May, June and July were so intense - so much was on the line - I could not afford a let down. It was manic at times. I basically moved 1,000+ miles two times. Made three trips to California and three more to Milwaukee. Arranged and completed a regimen of medical treatment and simultaneously found a new job and a new place to live. Now the pressure is off...there's no more gun to my head, so I guess this has been the decompression. There's also a bit of frustration because the last puzzle piece is out of my hands. I could be proactive about my medical treatment and I could be actively looking for a job... but I cannot do much to help sell our house back in Montana (short of listing it for a price we cannot afford to accept)...and that eats away at me as I'm anxious to truly move on with my life.


Today started with no plans and no expectations, but ended up being filled with a lot of very small things that went well. It was just what I needed. Shortly after I woke up I remembered that RadioMilwaukee had a booth this morning at the East Town Farmer's Market. I headed downtown to Cathedral Square Park and the Market. My co-worker Theresa handles most of the station promotions...many of which are at evening concerts and festivals. She made a great point noting that people at early morning farmer's markets are so happy and friendly...especially compared to the often-inebriated crowd you'll find at other events. And a steady stream of shiny, happy people stopped by our booth this morning. They had their fresh veggies, colorful flowers and sticky pastries and many made a point of saying how much they loved 88Nine. One woman even overheard me talking and said: "Oh wow!, You're Dave...I listen to you!" I like to think my ego is small (as radio egos go) but the recognition was nice...especially since I've been on-air here all of two weeks.


I stayed downtown at the market longer than I expected and then I decided to explore another part of town I had yet to see - I headed for Brady Street. Brady street is somewhat Bohemian. Full of bars, restaurants, thrift stores and the like. They were shooting a movie there today (I understand it's set in roughly 1920 New York and that David Strathairn stars), but I saw little specific evidence...just a bunch of guys with two-way radios and many equipment and personnel trailers...yes, a few had stars on the doors. I walked all over and checked out the "cool record store" (Every "Brady Street" has a "cool record store", though this one is about a half block off-Brady) and then I ducked into a Thai restaurant and had a great green curry for lunch. I drove north from Brady street and quickly stopped to walk off my lunch at Lake Park. Old Italian men dressed in white were playing Bocce ball on an immaculately groomed field. A wedding party was posing for pictures. It was a sunshine and lollipops kind of day. As I was driving to Lake park, I passed the ginormous Whole Foods store and couldn't help but think of the remarks their CEO made this week...He basically said that we are a country of obese people who need to take personal responsibility for their own health - and that if we finally did so, government health care would not be necessary. He's right, America is on a terrible nutrition path. However, he came across as an insensitive elitist and his comments certainly do not align well with the stereotypical Whole Foods shopper....thousands have already joined the "boycott Whole Foods" Facebook group that mushroomed this week. I laughed...and then drove straight to Trader Joe's.

On my way to Trader Joe's I drove through the heart of Milwaukee's highest-dollar neighborhoods...the lake-front homes of Shorewood and Whitefish Bay. Amazing. Trader Joe's is part of a newly refurbished mall that feels more like a city street than a sterile mall. I love Trader Joe's...some of their stuff is so inexpensive I'm sure it must have fallen out of the back of a truck or be tainted in some way. I try not to think about it as I load my cart with yummy, healthy stuff (and very cheap wine). While it's clear across town from where I live, I'm glad that I live in a city that actually has a Trader Joe's...and it's only 15-20 minutes away.

After I put the groceries away I still had time for a lengthy bike ride. Milwaukee has an excellent system of bike trails...the best being the Oak Leaf Trail that connects most of the city's parks in some fashion. I biked through Jacobus Park (where an adult Raccoon ran out of the underbrush right in front of my bike, scaring us both equally) and then to Doyne Park. I took note of the par 3 golf course at Doyne as these are pretty much the only type of golf courses I can play with out major performance anxiety and embarrassment. I snapped this picture of Miller Valley. Schlitz, Blatz and Pabst breweries are closed, but Miller still employees 2,200 workers here. From there I biked to the Wisconsin Humane Society...I didn't realize how close it was to my apartment. It's a very nice facility...I took this picture of three Pit Bull pups cuddled in one of the kennels.


So that's it...a series of tiny and mundane things made up this Saturday. No single one worth blogging about, but - taken as a whole - a pretty good day.

DOH! - Keys!

I've got to get used to these things. For the last 14 years I didn't even carry house keys. When I lived in Bozeman I didn't even have house keys...in fact, I think that when we sold the house in Bozeman we had get new locks installed.

It's not that I feel unsafe in Milwaukee (I don't)... but I've acquired many more of these key things. There's two keys just to my house (a key to get in and then a key to my upstairs apartment)... In fact, my apartment door automatically locks behind me. I am so not used to grabbing keys before I leave the house. In Montana, my (few) keys just stayed in the (unlocked) car all night. It's just a matter of time before I lock myself out. I'm pretty sure that day will coincide with the coldest day this winter. Hope the landlord is handy.

Meantime, at work, I've got another door that locks automatically behind me...and I've got keys for both the studio office and the annex office across the street. After losing 25 lbs. recently, I'm pretty sure that my extra key weight could drop my pants to the floor at any time. Who knew that keys would be near the top of my list of challenges when adapting to a new city?

*sigh*

Take my word for it...that speck in the center of the side-view-mirror is the "Welcome to Montana" sign. A few minutes past 10am this morning I saw Montana disappearing behind me and there was a lump in my throat and an empty feeling in my stomach. I arrived in Montana 18 years ago and never really thought I would leave. I was 27 then. Single. I found someone to sublease my apartment in Virginia...and when I arrived in Montana I already knew quite a few people...aunts, uncles and cousins. Today I'm off to my new job in Milwaukee (a place where I really don't know anyone) and I'm leaving behind my wife...and my mom...my friends, my cousins and my former co-workers.

People my age shouldn't have to "start over" again. It's a lot harder now than it was in 1991...but hell, if it was easy everyone could do it. I'm so fortunate to have a very cool job in Milwaukee...one I believe is a perfect fit for me. There's a couple of guys I have "met" on the prostate cancer message boards that just cannot find a job. They're not that much older than I am. One has been unemployed for a year - the other has just given up on finding a job...he's trying to settle on a treatment while his COBRA is still active and he and his wife are selling their house and most of their possessions and moving into an apartment. I really have it pretty good.

I worked pretty hard in Montana and in the last couple years I missed out on much the state has to offer. I didn't much ski/fish/camp/visit relatives. In one of my earliest posts I lamented the fact that I was too scared/busy/stressed to take all my vacation time in my previous jobs. Well, my new job at Radio Milwaukee comes with a generous amount of vacation time. I'm sure I'll spend a lot of it in the "Last Best Place"...

I have been Hypofractionated

I just completed the last of my Proton Beam Radiation treatments. Tomorrow morning I'll get in the car and head north on I-215. As I climb through San Bernardino I'm sure I'll sneak a glance over my shoulder (or in the mirror)...one final peek at the structure that dominates the community of Loma Linda below. The Loma Linda Medical Center can be seen for miles and I'm sure I won't be able to resist one last glimpse.





I'll miss my comfy, little cottage...I'll miss my very cool neighbors-Mary & Marty. I'll miss my walks all over town...especially down Huron Street which offers great homes, landscaping and a view of the town below. I'll miss the crew of Gantry 3...especially Ken and Jessie. It's not like we exchanged emails and will remain friends; however those guys were awesome every day and their level of care and concern for the patient was appreciated. I'll miss the Drayson Center...especially its huge pool on a 100-degree day. I'll miss the Vietnamese and Thai restaurants. I'll miss the amazing smells of the flowers all over town (I will not miss the awful smell of the automatic air freshener in the changing room...I thought of disarming that thing nearly every day)...I'll miss the huge variety of produce and healthy food available at a great price from Clark's or Trader Joes. I'll even miss the helicopter traffic at all hours. In between the balloons and the beams and the 3am trips to the bathroom, I stood on a mountain and surveyed the desert below...I stood in the ocean...I drove all the way into LA (like a big boy) three times and I rode a cable car in San Francisco.





It can't (and certainly shouldn't) last forever...but I found myself thinking the same thing as Dana Jennings expresses here: http://www.nytimes.com/2009/06/30/health/30case.html?_r=2&ref=health Dana has been blogging about his Prostate Cancer for the New York Times for some time. He has a MUCH more serious situation that I did...a more aggressive cancer, failure of surgery to remove all the cancer and the subsequent hormone and radiation treatment. Dana makes an interesting point about the odd fact that the daily routine of treatment can be a comfort in and of itself...and that some people feel at a loss when it's over. I think I understand, and I'm thankful that I have a new, exciting and challenging job to jump right into after treatment.





I'm glad I made this treatment choice, and I'll be happy to recommend Loma Linda to prospective patients, but I'd like to be a year removed before I do so. I really want to see if the clinical trial (the hypofractionated part) I chose proves to be as effective as the standard protocol...and I want to see if I get a year past treatment without side effects cropping up. I will agree with one thing that I was promised prior to treatment: Loma Linda (both town and medical center) is a magical place that has a lasting effect on all who spend any significant time here. So long, "beautiful hill".

Q2 Report

"I wouldn't say I've been missing it, Bob."

So my period of unemployment pretty much lined up exactly with Q2...and you may have noticed, I have been missing a lot of work.

Well, I certainly haven't missed the passive-aggressive, condescending head games that accompanied the home stretch of my previous job. But, it's June 30th and Q2 deserves at least one summary report. Sorry that it's not in spreadsheet form.

2009 Q2 vs. Q1

weight..... down 13%
waistline..... down 10%
sit-ups in 2 minutes..... up 100%
new friends made..... up 400%
stress..... down 50%
PSA..... down ??% (will know soon)
Cholesterol..... down ??% (will know soon, too)
salary (adjusted for cost of living)..... flat (new job)
annual vacation time..... up 150% (new job)
number of people I fired..... down 100%

Not a bad quarter...too bad I was my own boss for the past 90 days...no one to impress with these strong numbers. I think I'll print them off and put them on the refrigerator. With a gold star or smiley face. Or both.

I miss a lot of the people I used to work with. Last week brought some great news for the programming staff of my former stations. The ratings were up significantly. I believe that 6 of the 7 stations (possibly all 7) went up in the just-released ratings (unheard of). I may have had a small impact on that. Also my old group had 6 first-place winners (out of only 11 categories) this past weekend at the Montana Broadcasters awards. No other radio cluster in Montana had even 3 nominees. Angel, Shawn, Peter, Craig, Aaron, Erik, Denny, Jannette and others...a great bunch of talented people who I didn't spend much time with because I was focusing on the "other" side of the building. I think the thing I'm looking forward to the most in my new job is once again focusing on the programming side of the building...and (very rare these days) focusing on just one station.

And with that, my corporate duties for Q2 are finished. If you haven't done so already, please schedule your one-on-one with the Bobs ASAP. The sign-up sheet is beside the copier...right next to the TPS reports.

Found A Job

So think about this little scene; apply it to your life. If your work isn't what you love, then something isn't right. - Talking Heads: "Found A Job"


Okay, okay...so I didn't jump; I was pushed. I was fired on March 30th and I have spent much of the past few months finding a job. My goal was to be employed by the time my severance ran out and by the time my radiation treatment was over. Both of those dates pretty much coincide with July 1st. Despite the omnipresent fear of being without work as the unemployment rate inches up to 10%, I resisted the urge to apply for every opening I saw. I came to grips that I may have to leave Montana to find a suitable job...and I realized that this may finally be the time to run screaming from radio - my career of the past 25 years.



(By the way, my former company has since fired two more of their Montana Managers...All three of us were either lazy idiots who were bringing the company down - or - Our 55 years combined Montana radio experience was viewed to be less important than our combined salaries. You decide.)

(new update...as of 6/29...they just fired their 4th Montana manager...70 years of Montana radio experience is now out)


So while I was still receiving severance checks and radiation I figured I could be picky and only apply for jobs that I really felt were a great match for my skills AND would also be personally rewarding. I applied for a few non-profit positions (mostly environmental) in Bozeman. I also found 4 radio jobs that I thought were "right". Three of those four radio jobs were at non-commercial stations. And now I have accepted the position of Program Director at 88Nine, RadioMilwaukee. http://www.radiomilwaukee.org/

Wow...I know what that appears to be on first glance. I've gone from the General Manager of a corporate seven station cluster to the Program Director of a single non-commercial, class B1 station. But if you don't get it, then you probably don't get me. To start with, 88Nine already has nearly the listenership of the combined total listenership of the 7 stations I used to work for.

I have already (at great length) explained the precarious position that commercial radio is currently in (go back 2 or 3 blog postings) so I won't repeat any of that negative stuff here. I'd rather focus on what makes 88Nine such a great station and an attractive job.

88Nine is already a very solid radio station. It sounds great...no small feat considering that the station is primarily a mix of two very different music formats. AAA (Adult Album Alternative and Urban/Hip Hop). But the music is presented with care by people who are knowledgeable and passionate about what they're doing. Home-grown Milwaukee music is featured...and not just at 3am. A Milwaukee artist is pretty much played at least every hour. 88Nine is not your stereotypical "left end of the dial" non-comm. In fact the presentation and formatics are much closer to commercial radio than you may think. It's, uhm, professional. (Dave, you say it like it's a bad thing! It's not.) I'll be a (mostly) off-air Program Director with a staff of four full-time (mostly) live announcers and 3-4 part-timers. My radio friends will immediately realize that a staff like this is unheard of in commercial radio these days. Your typical PD is now overseeing 2-3 stations and is lucky to have one or two announcers (seldom live outside of mornings) on his or her staff. We also have a Producer who is responsible for the public service segments that are a major part of our programming. Serving the Milwaukee community is a key cornerstone for 88Nine. Public service campaigns are identified well in advance and executed to great depth and detail. They're well-done, entertaining and achieve results.

The staff is (mostly) young. They're smart, talented and generally haven't had their spirits crushed by soulless corporate suits who only view them as a line on a spreadsheet. Unlike much non-commercial music radio, the station sounds consistent throughout the day regardless of who's on the air. That's not to say that the personalities don't come through...they certainly do - and each jock has one or two speciality shows or segments where they can break format and spotlight something they have a personal interest in. The station is tied to the live music scene. There are several awesome live music venues in Milwaukee. Coming attractions include Buckwheat Zydeco, Stevie Wonder, John Legend, Tracy Chapman, The Psychedelic Furs, Brett Dennen, Malford Milligan, Mat Kearney, G Love, Earth Wind & Fire, Rusted Root, Buddy Guy, The Fray, Elvis Costello, Kill Hannah, Tab Beniot, Black Francis, Peter Murphy, Sonic Youth, Lyle Lovett, The Bottle Rockets, Shooter Jennings, Social Distortion, Tori Amos, Pete Yorn, Justin Townes Earle and, yep, the Jonas Brothers....all coming in the next two months. As I type this I'm listening online and 88Nine just segued "Jeepster" from T. Rex into Paul Weller's "Sunflower".

The General Manager and Chief Engineer are radio veterans that actually have Montana ties. The new Executive Director has extensive experience fundraising with many successful Milwaukee non-profits. Some people that were associated with the station start-up a couple years ago include Mike Henry and his team at Paragon Research and J. Mikel Ellcessor (formerly of New York City NPR and now GM of Detroit's NPR)... Finally the station is partially funded by Peter Buffett's Novo Foundation (go ahead, Google it)... The outgoing PD (leaving on his own accord as his wife just accepted her dream job) came to 88Nine from "This American Life" in Chicago.

And, by the way, the station is only about 2 miles from Miller Park...the impressive home of the Milwaukee Brewers. That's got to count for something. To make a Montana reference, Milwaukee reminds me a bit of Butte. It's lost some population over the years as it has battled to redefine itself after the loss of traditional industry. Both towns are noted for tough, blue-collar neighborhoods. Each town has an historic ethnic component. Each is the occasional butt of jokes. Milwaukee, like Butte, is a town full of character. Each is filled with proud natives that wouldn't be anywhere else. The main tag line for the station is: Diverse music for a diverse city - 88Nine, Radio Milwaukee.

So I truly think I just got one of the best jobs in all of radio. I'm gonna try not to screw it up. 88Nine is a treasure...a treasure to be cherished and nurtured. Most of the staff thinks that they've just really hit their stride and great things are in the future. I agree.

The Tinkerer

You probably know one. This guy cannot stop tinkering with stuff. Even when there's nothing wrong, he's gotta dive in, tear it apart and build it back up again. The tinkerer is exhausting in his all consuming pursuit of perfection - there's no detail so small that it escapes his attention. Fueled by an over-abundance of hubris, the tinkerer works 24/7....analyzing, measuring, evaluating and (yes) tinkering.

Back when he was just a kid (a loner...promoted ahead a grade and without friends) the tinkerer realized the need to form an alliance with someone that would compliment, but not threaten, his skills. The tinkerer found the stress-tester perfect for this idea.

The stress-tester was always seeing how much he could pile on before something gave in. The tinkerer observed him stress-testing ants under a magnifying glass, kittens reaction to a lighter and smaller children and their reluctance to part with their lunch money (until the stress-tester found the necessary amount of pressure to apply). The stress-tester had friends...but these were just boys who were weaker and whose friendship earned them protection. This would be the start of a productive relationship.

Even the stress-tester knew that he needed an accomplice. Deep down, he knew that he wasn't too smart. He was receptive to the tinkerer's overtures.

They're into adulthood now and making their mark. The tinkerer shows the stress-tester just where to apply the pressure. Sometimes the flaw is obvious and the faulty part is quickly exposed. More often though, the tinkerer has to tinker a bit...and the stress-tester has to apply firmer and more constant pressure. This sometimes takes months, but the tinkerer is never wrong, and the weakness is always eventually identified. The good news is that the tinkerer has found that these weak parts can always be replaced by cheaper parts. These parts seem readily available these days.

After all, life in the business world is all about getting the right people on the bus. First, of course, you have to get the wrong people off the bus. Through the proper application of stress and careful, constant tinkering, this can be accomplished. But head's up...it's easy to drive the bus off the road while you're having so much fun tinkering around. Have a nice ride.