DOH! - Keys!

I've got to get used to these things. For the last 14 years I didn't even carry house keys. When I lived in Bozeman I didn't even have house keys...in fact, I think that when we sold the house in Bozeman we had get new locks installed.

It's not that I feel unsafe in Milwaukee (I don't)... but I've acquired many more of these key things. There's two keys just to my house (a key to get in and then a key to my upstairs apartment)... In fact, my apartment door automatically locks behind me. I am so not used to grabbing keys before I leave the house. In Montana, my (few) keys just stayed in the (unlocked) car all night. It's just a matter of time before I lock myself out. I'm pretty sure that day will coincide with the coldest day this winter. Hope the landlord is handy.

Meantime, at work, I've got another door that locks automatically behind me...and I've got keys for both the studio office and the annex office across the street. After losing 25 lbs. recently, I'm pretty sure that my extra key weight could drop my pants to the floor at any time. Who knew that keys would be near the top of my list of challenges when adapting to a new city?

*sigh*

Take my word for it...that speck in the center of the side-view-mirror is the "Welcome to Montana" sign. A few minutes past 10am this morning I saw Montana disappearing behind me and there was a lump in my throat and an empty feeling in my stomach. I arrived in Montana 18 years ago and never really thought I would leave. I was 27 then. Single. I found someone to sublease my apartment in Virginia...and when I arrived in Montana I already knew quite a few people...aunts, uncles and cousins. Today I'm off to my new job in Milwaukee (a place where I really don't know anyone) and I'm leaving behind my wife...and my mom...my friends, my cousins and my former co-workers.

People my age shouldn't have to "start over" again. It's a lot harder now than it was in 1991...but hell, if it was easy everyone could do it. I'm so fortunate to have a very cool job in Milwaukee...one I believe is a perfect fit for me. There's a couple of guys I have "met" on the prostate cancer message boards that just cannot find a job. They're not that much older than I am. One has been unemployed for a year - the other has just given up on finding a job...he's trying to settle on a treatment while his COBRA is still active and he and his wife are selling their house and most of their possessions and moving into an apartment. I really have it pretty good.

I worked pretty hard in Montana and in the last couple years I missed out on much the state has to offer. I didn't much ski/fish/camp/visit relatives. In one of my earliest posts I lamented the fact that I was too scared/busy/stressed to take all my vacation time in my previous jobs. Well, my new job at Radio Milwaukee comes with a generous amount of vacation time. I'm sure I'll spend a lot of it in the "Last Best Place"...

I have been Hypofractionated

I just completed the last of my Proton Beam Radiation treatments. Tomorrow morning I'll get in the car and head north on I-215. As I climb through San Bernardino I'm sure I'll sneak a glance over my shoulder (or in the mirror)...one final peek at the structure that dominates the community of Loma Linda below. The Loma Linda Medical Center can be seen for miles and I'm sure I won't be able to resist one last glimpse.





I'll miss my comfy, little cottage...I'll miss my very cool neighbors-Mary & Marty. I'll miss my walks all over town...especially down Huron Street which offers great homes, landscaping and a view of the town below. I'll miss the crew of Gantry 3...especially Ken and Jessie. It's not like we exchanged emails and will remain friends; however those guys were awesome every day and their level of care and concern for the patient was appreciated. I'll miss the Drayson Center...especially its huge pool on a 100-degree day. I'll miss the Vietnamese and Thai restaurants. I'll miss the amazing smells of the flowers all over town (I will not miss the awful smell of the automatic air freshener in the changing room...I thought of disarming that thing nearly every day)...I'll miss the huge variety of produce and healthy food available at a great price from Clark's or Trader Joes. I'll even miss the helicopter traffic at all hours. In between the balloons and the beams and the 3am trips to the bathroom, I stood on a mountain and surveyed the desert below...I stood in the ocean...I drove all the way into LA (like a big boy) three times and I rode a cable car in San Francisco.





It can't (and certainly shouldn't) last forever...but I found myself thinking the same thing as Dana Jennings expresses here: http://www.nytimes.com/2009/06/30/health/30case.html?_r=2&ref=health Dana has been blogging about his Prostate Cancer for the New York Times for some time. He has a MUCH more serious situation that I did...a more aggressive cancer, failure of surgery to remove all the cancer and the subsequent hormone and radiation treatment. Dana makes an interesting point about the odd fact that the daily routine of treatment can be a comfort in and of itself...and that some people feel at a loss when it's over. I think I understand, and I'm thankful that I have a new, exciting and challenging job to jump right into after treatment.





I'm glad I made this treatment choice, and I'll be happy to recommend Loma Linda to prospective patients, but I'd like to be a year removed before I do so. I really want to see if the clinical trial (the hypofractionated part) I chose proves to be as effective as the standard protocol...and I want to see if I get a year past treatment without side effects cropping up. I will agree with one thing that I was promised prior to treatment: Loma Linda (both town and medical center) is a magical place that has a lasting effect on all who spend any significant time here. So long, "beautiful hill".